Latvia: Carousel – That Night

Felix: I feel a bit tortured. Once again, I have to write a review about a song that I have no memory of. What I remember is that Latvia vaguely reminds me of the massively underrated “A Century of Love“, one of Moldova’s most underestimated Eurovision pearls. The difference is that Greta Burlacu’s piece was [alert: subjectivity] memorable, full of musical playfulness, charming and enchanting [/alert], while Carousel’s entry is way too plain to trigger interest.

But OK, let’s listen again, maybe I missed something? One minute in, more memories appear: It’s indeed as repetitive as a carousel. A plain old merry-go-round. Round and round, where are you, round and round, I need you, bla bla bla. Moldova 2008, however, was an exciting ride with complex spins, twists and turns, taking you on a much more delightful ride. Sure, no thrills, no loop-the-loops, but a whole lot more fun than ahahahahaha, where are you, ahahahahaha, I need you, ahahahaha, BORING.

So, the thing is, this will have an audience. There will be people who like it. Even more than “A Century of Love”. How many though? Two? Three? Latvia can do better, Latvia has done better, and Latvia will do better again than this year.

Shi: That audience of which Felix speaks of in his last paragraph? That’s me. That’s absolutely me. I adore this song to bits. I’m also very much aware it will pass by 99% of the viewers and no one except me will ever remember this song happened.

Martin: In theory I should be part of the audience too, but this just passes me by, unlike its calm and introspective counterpart in the same draw in the first semi-final. Could be our last-placer, I’m afraid to say.

video and title image source: eurovision.tv

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Switzerland: Luca Hänni – She Got Me

Felix: Oh, Luca Hänni. Luca who? In my country, one of Switzerland’s neighbours with a huge (pop-)cultural overlap, Luca Hänni isn’t some unknown Eurovision singer that nobody’s ever heard of. For the general German audience, the name needs no further introduction: Luca won the 9th season of Deutschland sucht den Superstar (German Idol).

That was back in 2012, which is not exactly yesterday, but his name still pops up every now and then on celebrity portals, tabloids etc… in short: He isn’t forgotten at all. He transformed from a pup to a hottie within those seven years, and I knew that even before I learned that he would represent Switzerland at Eurovision. Yes, it’s weird to have someone participating in Eurovision who you know from the real world, and it’s even weirder to write about it, but Luca is very welcome to the party!

Because I generally like him, and because Germans will probably prefer to root for someone they know well from their home TV stations than for some unknown S!sters, I was a bit afraid to listen to the song. But surprise surprise, especially since this is 2019, which is not my year: I really, really, like it. If Luca performs this well, and if Europe is in a pop mood when it counts, then Switzerland can go very very far this year. Victory not excluded. A shame they couldn’t just call it “Dirty Dancing”.

Shi: I was never one to try and replicate the choreography of videos and performances I like, but I absolutely did try to go low and get some of those moves from the video clip. Can’t wait to see the actual performance and generally can’t believe there’s a Swiss entry that can actively do well. Wonders never cease.

Martin: Of the songs inevitably being described as the “Fuegos” this year – Switzerland, Cyprus, Malta et al – I imagine Luca will land the highest on the scoreboard. It’s never going to be fully my kind of thing personally, but I’m glad for the Swiss that they’re finally playing the game again.

video and title image source: eurovision.tv

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Moldova: Anna Odobescu – Stay

Martin: It’s a common trait among ESC fans to look for rip-offs or plagiats (sic) even when there are none. For a while after 2014, every male-female ballad in any genre was denounced as a CATS clone, for example. But there’s really no denying it: this year’s Moldovan entry is just the 45 of “Fight” played at 33 speed. (Super modern reference for all you Spotify kids, there.)

A lack of inspiration is no crime where ESC is concerned, of course – none of us are here because we’re fans of daring musical innovation – but if you’re going to tread an established route, you need to do it with some style.  Regrettably, “Stay” is every bit as pedestrian and everyday as the “seen it a million times before” song title suggests.

If Anna can bring some of the preview video’s telenovela drama to Tel Aviv, then I suppose there’s still an outside chance of her nation’s recent qualification streak continuing. But realistically, this feels more like the last time the producers put Moldova on third in the running order – exactly where you hide a song that’s perfectly fine at what it does, but that gives you no reason to actively vote for it above better examples of the genre.

Felix: The song sounds theoretical. And in theory, I might like this, but in practice it’s just too much of a construct to reach me on an emotional level. At least I do remember the song, so it could be worse. Upper edge of my lower third.

Shi: I kept forgetting to write a response and then I kept forgetting that I still needed to write one. I suppose that says a lot. Having said that: this was the most sensible choice in their selection and it’s not a bad song, really, it’s just there. And she is a screen-friendly, strong performer. Qualification? Stranger things have happened.

video and title image source: eurovision.tv

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Ireland: Sarah McTernan – 22

Shi: Oh, Ireland. I see you’re still dominating that “will they ever learn?” corner.

Continuing with the method of sending a pleasant radio song with a sympathetic performer with which they mostly fail to qualify – with the exception of last year where they eventually finished 16th – the Irish seem determined to constantly ignore that part in Eurovision where people are actually supposed to remember the songs after they ended.

As far as this year’s effort goes, I don’t even have anything actively bad to say about the song as a whole – it’s perfectly nice and I enjoy it – but in context it’s difficult to imagine this having any impact, bar a repeat of an interpretive rain dance in front of house number 22. It says a lot when your main selling point is that at least your countrymen won’t be embarrassed watching this on TV.

It is also not entirely helped by its place in the running order (although I suppose it might help with remembering the name of the song?) and the fact of having been placed there in the first place. Sure, a couple of countries have qualified from #2, but it’s not exactly a vote of confidence, is it?

Felix: There’s a pile of songs that I don’t care about in my 2019 ranking list, and Ireland is one of them. While the song isn’t horrible, in terms of what happens at ESC 2019 it’s just not more important to me than a mic stand, or the 4th seat in the 9th row, or the other host’s handbag.

Martin: I often rail against songs that are offensively inoffensive, but there’s a good kind of inoffensive too, and that’s what Ireland is. It’s not going to change the world and it probably won’t trouble the scoreboard either, but I’m glad to have it in my playlist as summer approaches.

video and title image source: eurovision.tv

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Armenia: Srbuk – Walking Out

Martin: Whatever your thoughts about the producer-determined running order, we all enjoy guessing which countries will be chosen to open and close the shows.

The general assumption is that the semi-final opener has to be a relatively up-tempo number that’s easy to engage with. Makes sense, right? And in that respect, like many, I always thought of Srbuk’s “Walking Out” as a potential song 1 and was unsurprised to see it given that slot.

What I didn’t think it was was a particularly great song. But I’m pleased to say it’s grown on me a lot, to the extent that I’m starting to actively like it now. Which might seem to contradict what I said about the producers putting an instant song on first, but then I’m not really the core audience for this kind of in-your-face, borderline-aggressive track – so if even I’m getting it, that should bode well for Armenia to at least make a return to the final following their failure to qualify last year.

How well they do once they get there will depend on the effectiveness of the staging – the video shows promise, at least – and on not making the whole thing so dark that it alienates the average viewer. But there’s potential in here, definitely.

Felix: It gets a bit tiresome to say once again within this line-up check series that I don’t remember a song. That’s why I will actively play it now. Ah yes, the chorus I  remember, and it’s quite OK. But it doesn’t make me want to listen to the rest of the song.

Shi: Honestly, my biggest problem with “Walking Out” is that, when it starts, it sounds like it’s going to be way different and more out there than it actually is. But I really like it anyway, so oh well. I suppose I can live with that.

video and title image source: eurovision.tv

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San Marino: Serhat – Say Na Na Na

Shi: Why do we need San Marino in Eurovision? I have no clue. I don’t even know what their motivation to keep participating is, unless there are some top secret Sammarinese government documents somewhere showing a correlation between the annual 3 minutes (and the rare 6) and an increase in tourism. Who knows. Still: every year, they return just so they can – literally – add nothing to the line-up.

Serhat seems to have some odd cult following among Eurovision fans for whatever reason, but seriously: While he comes across as a nice person, he’s not really a singer. And yes, I suppose talking is also a kind of performing art, but it’s not like his speaking voice helps matters.

The thing about “Say Na Na Na” is that it’s not even particularly bad by San Marino standards, which is even more proof that there’s absolutely no need for us to ever see them in ESC again. Their adoration for outdated pop songs combined with how much they insist on taking this whole thing seriously doesn’t even provide for much entertainment, bar a couple of memes. They came, they saw, they left us on a Wednesday.

Martin: My first reaction when Serhat was announced again was a gigantic eye-roll. My first reaction to the song was a hiccup of joyous laughter. The fun factor wears off very quickly, but during the first encounter, those three minutes deliver exactly what they intend to. Enough for qualification? I assume not, but you never know.

Responder: I am so thankful to have San Marino in Eurovision. Year after year, they manage to occupy a very special place in my heart. And this year is no different because whether it’s Serhat. Valentina, robots, Serhat, Valentina, Jessika, Valentina, Serhat… anything works. I’m a San Marino fan. <3 THANK YOU.

video and title image source: eurovision.tv

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Greece: Katerine Duska – Better Love

Martin: Welcome back, Greece, and congratulations on winning the first semi-final!

OK, that might be a bit premature. There are still some question marks here. “Better Love” has layered vocals that might be tricky to reproduce live, and there’s every chance the staging will be unnecessarily arty and overthought, because it’s Greece at ESC, after all.

But in Katerine Duska, they seem to have made a very wise choice of singer if they want to make a big splash on the scoreboard after half a decade of treading water. Not only does she have the vocal credentials to deliver the song live – assuming she can remain free of the cold she had at Eurovision In Concert – but she already comes across as really understanding what she wants to get out of the whole experience, both professionally and in terms of having a lot of fun meeting the other contestants along the way. Smile and the world smiles with you, you know? (Even if that didn’t quite work for Ari Ólafsson.)

“Better Love” isn’t a stunning reinvention of everything a Eurovision song can be, but it is a super solid slice of contemporary pop that should appeal to juries and the public in equal measure, and it’s been a while since we’ve been able to say that about a Greek entry.

Shi: I love this one. As someone who is obsessed with everything Greek, I often struggle with Greece at Eurovision, precisely because they tend to be very… Greece at Eurovision. But “Better Love” sounds like Katerine Duska wrote it with Katerine Duska rather than ESC in mind, and it’s always nice seeing countries doing something completely different to what they’ve done before.

Felix: I heard it twice and couldn’t remember a tune, so I assumed there was none, but that’s true for most other songs that are considered contemporary. Eventually it started sticking though. And I do remember that I have nothing against it while it’s on. It just doesn’t do a lot for me.

video and title image source: eurovision.tv

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Portugal: Conan Osiris – Telemóveis

Martin: As a blogger and a gambler, it’s in my interest to take in as wide a range of opinions as possible. But we all inevitably inhabit our own particular corner of the fan universe, and as such, it’s hard for me to judge whether there’s really any wider enthusiasm for “Telemóveis” or whether it’s just the people around me who seem enamoured.

In any case, I don’t quite get it. I absolutely admire Portugal for having the bravery to send something so left-field and “out there” to the contest – why not, really, when you’ve won the thing so recently? And it’s great that it seems to be a big local hit, because that’s what ESC needs. But all I see here is what I expect the wider European audience will see, too – a strange man with spoons on his face, warbling randomly over an atonal backing track.

I imagine there’s meant to be some kind of clever social commentary behind the mobile phone-themed lyrics, just like Francesco Gabbani mansplained his way through some fairly bloody obvious insights about the human condition two years ago. And perhaps they’ll find a way to visualise it (ideally not involving a dancing primate) that makes the whole thing click with me. But for now, this particular phone has no reception.

Felix: Oh god, Portugal. Oh god, “Telemóveis”. How can they dare to send something like this? Well, they absolutely can! And as such, I celebrate it as a monument to the free Europe. That’s all. For my taste, it’s really bad. But it will still be remembered in 2069. What would ESC 2019 be without this one?

Shi: I don’t mind this. I also don’t get this. Or why there are people who think this can do really well. I guess it will get some of that “OMG THIS IS WHY WE WATCH EUROVISION!” vote, but then there’s also Iceland and Australia (and San Marino?) if you want that kind of thing.

video and title image source: eurovision.tv

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