Russia: Julia Samoylova – I Won’t Break

Martin: Julia Samoylova is back, and this time she’s allowed to sing. Except, if her first live performance is anything to go by… she can’t. Whether through her disability or just a lack of talent, she isn’t capable of carrying the melody of the song that’s been chosen for her. The result: a frankly uncomfortable piece of viewing.

And that’s suspicious. This is a Russian entry, after all. They don’t tend to go into competition to lose, so there has to be some kind of story behind it.

A few theories:

• Keeping a promise no matter what: “We used her as a pawn last year, so we have to give her another chance even if that means writing off the year. We’ll be back in 2019 to win!”
• Self-sabotage to fuel local paranoia: “See, we told you Europe hates us!”
• A fun social experiment: “Let’s see how many points you can get at ESC solely with voting allies and a lady in a wheelchair!”
• Doom hype à la Blanche: “We’ll let the odds drift, pump our money into the betting market, then turn up in Lisbon with five epic backing singers and knock it out of the park. That’ll show them!”
• …?

Who knows. Take your pick. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Shi: Whenever I try to react to this – be it the song or the theories – any response I manage to come up with is within the vocabulary limitations of California English. I have obviously been here for too long. Basically: I have no idea what I am supposed to do with this.

Felix: Things that have broken in Eurovision history:

The glass of the stage in Istanbul 2004. Guilty: Ruslana.
The winner’s trophy in Moscow 2009. Guilty: Alexander Rybak.
My will to watch all the songs of Lisbon 2018. Guilty: Julia Samoylova.

video and title image source: eurovision.tv

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